My Art, Looking for Something New

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So, recently I've been unsatisfied with my art. I'm always either trying for anime-ism or realism. Somehow no matter what I do I don't see my art as special. With each new piece it's okay let's draw her in this pose, alright now for this new one I'll draw him in this one. Another day, let's draw that character in this pose. Every now and then me trying to improve the colors, the figure, the shading, etc. What I haven't been trying to improve on, what I haven't been thinking about is the meaning.

Certainly I've improved, definitely it's a show of my skill in art, but from these artworks I've made I feel nothing. Looking at it doesn't bring me any sort of emotion, emotion for getting it done and making it look nice for sure, but otherwise the drawing itself doesn't make me feel anything. At the end of the day, it's just another anime drawing that will fall into obscurity.
It might sound like I'm dissing anime art, but it's not that. I've definitely seen amazing anime artwork that I haven't forgotten about in years. It's just, my art is hardly good enough to be remembered yet. I'm just not sure if it's the right style for me.
Previously, when I tried making art with deeper meaning I always tried doing something surrealistic, but could never really make it work, that's what I thought anyway. That was long ago, I've long since stopped that. I think that's what I've been missing

Anyway, that might not even be it though. Truth be told I'm not certain what it is I'm looking for. I might just need a style change. I've always been drawing more on the anime side, and sometimes into the realistic. I might just need to change the style. Honestly, MOST of the artists that I adore the most hardly have a realistic style. Van Gogh, my favorite artist for one. To name a couple others, there's Monet, and there's this artist on Da, DemiseMAN. It's about time I try something new. I'm not trying to become famous and develop some super obscure and unique style. I'm just trying to find a style that can satisfy me.

Well, this journal was all over the place probably. Just wanted to write out my thoughts I guess. With all that said, it's not like I'll stop trying to improve my figures, colors, etc. Of course I'll still be doing that, but I'll also be trying to find my own style, a style that fits me. So I guess expect something new, that is whenever I post something new here anyway lol. My upload rate is like once every two weeks, maybe worse than that. Just know I still do draw, and I'm working on something big that I can't share right now. Hope you're all doing well, whoever still checks out my stuff haha.
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